I LIVE FOR MYSELF

I am a human being.
I live for myself.
Nobody can tell me
what kind of person
I am supposed to be.

I am my own person
with my own desires.
I choose to live life
the way I so please.

If I want to live with
who I want, sleep with
who I want, get married with
who I want, have children with
who I want, then that
is what I will do in life,
because no one will decide
that or anything else for me.

And I am not afraid to tell
anyone that I am bisexual,
because that is part of
who I am, how I grew up,
and how I am going to die.

Object if you may,
but you will never change
my mind, not for one minute.

Your life is your life,
and my life is my life.
Live as you please,
but don’t infringe your views
upon that of mine,
because that’ll get you
into some big-assed trouble,
so leave me alone
if you feel it’s necessary.

I’ve lived for other people too long,
and now, I feel it’s not worth it any more.

I live for myself, and that is final.

A.J. Chilson
22 February 2009
4:00 PM

This morning, I am watching World Team Tennis. During the commercial break, something illuminating occured. It was a Merrill Lynch commercial. In it was tennis legend Billie Jean King, discussing her life, from her dream of being the best tennis player in the world to accomplishing that goal, and doing more in the process. To me, it was a touching moment. Not only was it Billie Jean King in a commercial selling a product, but it was a fellow member of the LGBT community that was doing so. One must remember that in 1981, when Marilyn Barnett sued King for palimony (the two had been on-and-off lovers while Billie Jean was married to her then-husband Larry), all corporate sponsors dumped the 39-time Grand Slam champ as nothing more than just another queer on the block. King lost over $1.5 million, and was forced to play another two seasons on the WTA tour just to pay lawyers backing Billie Jean in a case that eventually turned out in King’s favor.

Though Billie Jean was not the first LGBT athlete to come out openly as gay (football player David Kopay and baseball player Glenn Burke had preceeded her), she, like all LGBT athletes suffered. When Martina Navratilova came out, just months after the Barnett/King story broke, Martina, like Billie Jean, lost her endorsements as well. However in the years to come, with America’s growing tolerance of homosexuality (as well as pro-gay products willing to be endorsed by out celebrities), athletes like Greg Louganis, Billy Bean, Ameile Mauresmo, Sheryl Swoopes, and John Amechi have all come clean with their life stories, and the struggles that go with it.

And maybe the King commercial has something to do with it. In the last decade, Navratilova did an ad for Sabaru, entertainer Ellen Degeneres endorsed Visa, and Olivia has served as an outlet for many of today’s out and well-known lesbians, including Rosie O’Donnell. In other words, the corporate homophobia that turned Billie Jean King into a pariah in 1981 has very much changed its perception on gays at the present time. And with a new generation of young girls getting to know the history of women in sport, they can look up to that little girl from Long Beach who dreamed big and accomplished big.

God bless Billie Jean King.

Okay, so maybe you were a bit too young to recognize who this guy was. Or maybe you simply didn’t follow every major leaguer in the late 1970s. Or maybe you weren’t born when Burke was playing.

Gleen Burke (1952-1995) is the first major league baseball player to acknowledge his homosexuality. Before Burke, it was NFL running back Dave Kopay. And after Burke came tennis stars Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova, spreading the message that, yes, in sports, there are gay athletes.

Burke only played five seasons of MLB ball. Much of them years were spent with the Los Angeles Dodgers, where Burke played for three years. In game one the 1977 World Series at Yankee Stadium, Burke singled for his only hit in postseason play. Had not for a misjudged call by an umpire, Burke would’ve been credited with an RBI, as teammate Steve Garvey was called out at home.

Another overlooked moment in Burke’s career came shortly before the World Series. When Dusty Baker hit a home run during one of the final games of the season, Burke congradulated him at home plate with a “high five”, a gesture that has since become synomynous with home runs and touchdown celebrations. Moments later, Burke hit the first of two career home runs, and Baker gave Burke a high five of his own.

During his career, Burke made no effort to hide his sexual orientation. Dodgers’ manager Tommy Lasorda was taken back when Burke became friends with Lasorda’s estranged son Spunky, who was said to be gay. In an act of homophobia, Lasorda traded Burke to the Oakland A’s, a team, which, by then, was a shadow of their former glory, with all the stars from the early 1970s championship roster having been shipped to other teams.

To make matters worse was the A’s new manager, Billy Martin, who, as detailed in Billy Bean’s autobiography Going The Other Way, aimed a sexual epithet at Burke. After injuring his knee at the beginning of the 1980 season, Martin demoted Burke to the minor leagues, where his career ended.

Though he went on to participate in other sports, and went on to medal in the Gay Games of 1982, Burke’s life spiraled out of control. Battling drugs, depression, and homelessness, he died in 1995 from AIDS complications.

Today, when we see athletes celebrate with a high five, an homage is directly paid to Glenn Burke, whether we realize it or not. He was a pioneer years ahead of its time.

Well, I’ve got other favorite songs that I call my favorite ones. It can go without saying if you were to look at my MySpace profile that Judy Garland’s Over The Rainbow is among them.

To tell you the truth, I’ve only been hooked on ABBA for about a month. But I’ve been listening to Dancing Queen over the radio for at least two years. So the reason I haven’t loved ABBA any longer was simply because I didn’t know who did that song. I’m just kid compared to all the disco freaks around. So when I finally looked up the song that’s when I got hooked.

But that song, I’ll tell you. I really trip out along to the tune. It really gets me going. Now there are other ABBA songs that I love (ex: Knowing Me, Knowing You; SOS; Waterloo, etc.).

Now it’s kind of interesting that I love Dancing Queen because the song is actually a favorite among GLBT people. They do love dance songs, worshipping Dolly Parton, Cyndi Lauper, and Madonna, to name only a few, as gay icons who have attracted GLBT people, just like Judy Garland did over a half century back, when she became one of the first celebrities to celebrate having a GLBT following. And she still does, almost forty years after her death. Take it from me, a bisexual friend of Dorothy is collecting Judy Garland memorabilia.

Dancing Queen and Over The Rainbow are my favorite songs. And they will the favorite songs of many other people in the years to come.

First she fought to make tennis a professional sport. Then she fought the inequities of women by forming a league of their own. After that she shut the mouths of every male chauvinist pig by defeating Bobby Riggs at the Astrodome.

She opened a door to women athletes throughtout the world. And after being outed by a jealous lover, she threw herself into GLBT politics, becoming an inspiration to athletes of all sexual preferences.

But it isn’t just the athletes who have benefit from her ever generous heart. Just ask the senior citizens at the RainbowVision retirement center in Palm Beach, Florida.

The winner of 39 grand slam tennis titles has designed a tennis and fitness center for the first GLBT retirement center approved by the city of Palm Beach.

Another good reason to appreciate Billie Jean King. She cares a lot for all kinds of people, young and old, able and disabled, GLBT or straight. She cares about them all. An enormous gift from such an enormous woman.

And what she did was a good thing. Because not everybody cares about everybody, which is a sad thing. If any one person out there, gay or srtaight, sports fan or not, needs a role model to look up to, look up to Billie Jean King. She’s awesome.